A HUGE MISTAKE
YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU APPROACH
WOMEN
Let me ask you
something... When you approach or start talking to a
woman that you're "interested" in, what is your
attitude toward her? How do you treat her? What are
you THINKING ABOUT? Do you start the interaction by
trying to figure out if she's single? Do you
assume that she probably has a boyfriend and look for
hints that she doesn't? Do you try to pretend like
you're not interested in her "in that way" and instead
try to be casual about it until you get signals from
her?
Do you even
THINK about your strategy for how to talk to a woman
at all? MOST GUYS ARE UNAWARE OF WHAT THEY'RE
DOING. Most of us guys are running around doing things
that we're not even AWARE of. Or if we are aware of
what we're DOING, we're NOT aware of what OTHER people
(particularly women) think of our behaviors.
Also, most of us
guys allow others to control MOST or even All of how
we act. Now, we won't ADMIT that we try to do or say
whatever we think will please a woman, and we won't
ADMIT that we're even mentally anticipating what she's
going to think and acting on it... but it's happening.
And it's happening ALL THE TIME. In fact, if
most of us could just get a realistic look at how much
we're trying to read women's minds and act in a way
that pleases women, we'd BITCH-SLAP ourselves silly
and we'd mentally yell to ourselves "HEY, WAKE UP!"
Think about the
following scenario: You're out at a bar, and you start
talking to an attractive young woman while trying to
order a drink. And let's even say that she starts the
conversation by commenting on how busy it is and how
many people are in line for a drink. You're
thinking to yourself, "I wonder if she has a
boyfriend... I wonder if she's here with someone... I
wonder how old she is and if she'd like a guy my
age... I wonder if I should buy her a drink so she'll
feel obligated to talk to me and
I can keep her
attention... I wonder if I should just wait and talk
to her later..." Then, you remember that you've
been reading my newsletters and my
eBook... and learning
from my
Advanced Dating Techniques
Series... and you decide to use some of
your new techniques.
So you say,
"Hey, do me a favor. I'll let you go in front of me if
you order my drink for me. All the bar tenders
are guys, and they'll give you more attention than
they'll give me, OK? I don't usually use women just
for their bodies this early on in the relationship,
but in this case I'm going to make an exception".
She laughs.
You think you're
on a roll. You then say, "But I'm not going to
let you pay for it, OK? I don't want you thinking that
I'm easy and that I'll give you my number or come home
with you just because you paid for my drink." At
this point, she turns around and gives you the "You're
a loser" look, and walks away. Now let's think
for a moment about what could be going on here...
- She might be
married
- She might be in a bad mood
- She might be a lesbian (not all that bad, actually)
- She might be offended
- She might be emotionally unstable
- She might have misheard what you said
- She might have gotten nervous
- She might have thought you were ugly
...or the
possibility exists that the technique you used might
have been horrible. But what do MOST guys
typically do in a situation like this one? Most
guys typically let their emotions take over and they
think, "Well that stuff doesn't work", and they STOP
even trying Cocky & Funny humor.
WHAT A MISTAKE
THIS IS! A side note: If you're not quite
"getting" the Cocky & Funny humor thing, then you need
to LEARN it. This technique will create more
attraction with women than just about anything else I
know.
And here's the
best way to learn:
A lot of guys
will even try something and have it WORK for them,
then have it NOT WORK just ONCE and quit using it
because they stop believing in it. This is a
HORRIBLE mistake. Let me try to say this all a
different way... Out of a random sample of 100
beautiful women, you'd probably find that only 20 of
them (or so) are:
- Single
- Emotionally Stable
- Able to carry on an interesting conversation
- Not stuck up
- Not psycho
This is just an
estimate from my own personal experience, but I think
you get the point. Now, here's the important
part of this concept... Let's say that you started
talking to all of these 100 women, one after the
other, and you had to use the same basic attitude and
opening with each of them. What would you do?
If you treated all of them like they were probably NOT
single, interesting, stable, etc. (which is the case),
then you'd probably scare off the single ones who were
your targets, because they'd think you were acting
strange.
For instance,
let's say you started a conversation with a very
attractive woman in her mid twenties, who was
open-minded, funny, and wasn't concerned with how old
the men she dated were (there are a lot of women out
there like this... I know this for a fact). But let's
say that you were "playing it cool", not saying
anything that might offend or appear "too forward",
and generally treating her like she was probably
married or had a boyfriend. You'd probably be trying
to figure out if she was single, not really paying
attention to what you were saying, and you might
finish up by saying,
"So, can I take
you out to dinner sometime?" And what is this
hot, smart, desirable woman thinking while you're
acting like a dork? Right... she's thinking that
you're a dork. Duh. Now, let's take the flip
side. Stay with me here. Let's say that
you treated ALL of the 100 attractive women like they
were AVAILABLE, smart, interesting, etc.
What would
happen? Well, you'd probably start flirting with
them all right from the beginning, or you'd
communicate very quickly that you weren't just another
friendly guy who wanted to talk about the weather.
And what would happen? Well, as you can imagine,
a lot of the women who were either unavailable or
unable to have a normal conversation would "reject"
you. They just wouldn't be interested. Their minds
would be closed to the possibility of continuing the
relationship with you, and they would end the
conversation with you in one way or another.
Now, let's go
TOTALLY out into space, and imagine that you were a
LAB RAT, and that you had a bar that you could press.
And let's say that 80% of the time when you pressed it
you got shocked, and 20% of the time you got a treat.
How long would
you keep pressing the bar? And keep in mind that
this is a random system. You can't line up all
the shocks (or all the rejections from women, in the
non-rat experiment that most men live in day-to-day).
You might get 7 shocks in a row at first. Or you
might get 1 treat, then 5 shocks. Well, for most
men, the THOUGHT of being "rejected" by a woman is
worse than a shock for a lab rat.
So what do we
do? We don't even try. And we miss the
opportunities with all of those wonderful, single,
available women who are out looking for a man who has
the balls to find them. So what's the solution?
The solution is to use a little technique called
behaving AS IF she's single, available, and
interesting.
You must learn
to overcome your initial self- doubt and your doubts
about a woman, and behave AS IF every woman you start
talking to is SINGLE and AS IF she's going to be THE
ONE, MOST INTERESTING AND WONDERFUL WOMAN EVER.
You must do the
things that will attract THAT woman, and forget about
the rest. And you must learn to NOT take the
things that happen in between meeting the wonderful
ones PERSONALLY. Gary Halbert, one of the top
marketing geniuses in the world, talks about this
principle. He basically says that out of 100
people reading your ad or seeing your commercial,
maybe ONE of them is someone who would buy your
product anyway.
SO QUIT TALKING
TO ALL OF THE 100 PEOPLE, AND ONLY TALK TO THE ONE!
In his words: "Don't worry about the DOGS, concentrate
on selling the FOXES". I like the metaphor.
Talk to the women you meet AS IF they're single, open,
interesting, and wonderful. And don't worry about the
ones that don't turn out to actually BE single, open,
interesting, available, and wonderful!
Use the things
you're learning from me, and KEEP USING THEM... even
if they don't work sometimes. There are all kinds of
reasons why women aren't interested... or stop being
interested... or whatever. That doesn't mean that you
should stop doing what works! ...which leads me to my
next point.
When you first
start talking to a woman, your BELIEFS about women and
dating are CRITICAL. If you don't know how to
use your BODY LANGUAGE and other communication to
INSTANTLY show her that you're a sexually aware,
confident man, then you'll probably be overlooked and
mentally discounted within SECONDS.
Of course, in
order to PROJECT the correct beliefs that are
attractive to women, you must KNOW WHAT THEY ARE, and
UNDERSTAND THEM. In other words, you can't just
"fake" them. You actually have to have a DEEP
understanding of how women think, and what makes them
feel a POWERFUL, gut-level emotional ATTRACTION for a
man. It's taken me YEARS to figure out this critical
point.
I used to try
all kinds of techniques to meet women. But when
it came down to it, no matter how well the techniques
worked, the women always seemed to slip away at one
point or another, and lose their interest quickly.
This was because
I didn't GET IT. So one of the things that I try
to teach guys is how to GET IT, and how to show women
that they GET IT. But "getting it" isn't as easy
as it sounds. You can't learn to be a Black Belt
in a martial art by learning a few techniques. It
takes a DEEPER, more profound understanding. And
you can't learn how to be super-successful with women
by learning a few pick up lines.
It just won't
happen that way! After spending literally YEARS
making mistakes, trying different things, and putting
the pieces together, I've created a systematic way for
men to learn ALL of the various aspects of how to be
successful with women and dating. And I've
created a few specific educational tools so you can
learn this skill... right from the comfort of your own
home.
The most
powerful tool is my Advanced Dating Techniques
program. It's 12 full hours of digital CD Audio or DVD
Video material, plus a detailed workbook. I
teach everything from the ground up. All the way from
how and why women are attracted to some men, to the
specific techniques to use and even interviews with
five friends who are masters with women. You'll learn
everything from how to overcome fears of approaching
women to how to meet women on the internet... and
much, much more. You'll review this material
SEVERAL times before you'll stop learning from it...
and in fact, you'll probably keep reviewing the
material FOREVER.
If you'd like to
listen to some audio samples and see a sample clip of
the video, just go
here.
