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Props are anything around you that help you to start a conversation. By using whatever is around you, it becomes much easier to establish contact with someone. You can ask questions, share points of reference, whatever you need to do to get the conversation rolling. Props work the same way that a "conversation piece" works in your living room. They can be used either as something to draw attention or as something to go back to when you have nothing else to talk about. Either way, they take off a huge amount of pressure. Because it's no longer just you and the other person. Now it's you and the other person and something to talk about, which makes the whole process a lot less charged. Props are the number one, most useable tool in your arsenal when it comes to meeting people. Best of all, they don't even need to be your props. If someone has a great dog, go pet the dog. "What's the name of your dog?" If someone in a cafe has a newspaper, you can ask, "Do you mind if I read that section when you're done?" On an airplane, ask to borrow a pen. At a diner, ask someone if you can borrow the salt from their table. In a bank line, you can even use the lack of customer service on the part of the tellers as a prop. Why? Because it gives you something to talk about! And that's what props are for. They remove the most difficult part of starting a conversation. You don't have to be clever. You don't have to be funny. You don't need to use a pick-up line. All you need to do is be open to your environment and find something to talk about. Get the ball rolling. Anybody can do it. It doesn't matter if you short, fat, bald, whatever. Start using the props around you and you can meet someone today.
By David Wygant
On Finding the Perfect Partner: I asked an acquaintance of mine why he had never taken a lover. The gentleman replied, "Well, I guess I just never met the right gal; I guess I've been looking for the perfect one." "Oh, come on now, " I said, "Surely you've dated at least one woman who was a real keeper." "Well, yes, there was a lady - - once. I guess she was a true winner; the only perfect woman I really ever met. She was just the right...everything, a perfect 10. I mean, she was unquestionably the absolute one for me." "Well, why didn't you marry her?" I queried. Begrudgingly he replied, "Unfortunately, she was looking for the perfect man!" Dating 101, Lesson 1: Nobody is perfect. If you are putting your love life on hold while you search for Ms. or Mr. Perfect you are setting yourself up for membership emeritus in the Lonely Hearts Club. No matter how long the list of redeeming qualities may be, each of us has flaws. One of the first steps in attracting a healthy, long-term relationship is being clear about which flaws you can live with in a partner and which you cannot. Get clear on your relationship "non-negotiables" and the flow of desirable dating partners may seem to magically open to you. In reality, there is nothing magical about this phenomenon. Great sketch artists know that the secret to drawing accurately is not about focusing on the shape of the object itself, but rather on the space that surrounds the object. Drawing that shape assists the artist in maintaining accurate perspective. Hmmm!
When we encounter someone with characteristics that "hook" us
emotionally ("He's sooo perfect for me!"), we tend to lose our
perspective. Under this spell of infatuation the tendency is to
exaggerate all of Mr. Wonderful's positive characteristics and to
ignore or grossly discount the not-so-flattering ones ("Oh, he's
just being cute!"). You know the drill: initial euphoria soon gives
way to disillusionment and hurt. This is not to say that we should
steer away from a potential partner who puts stars in our eyes. On
the contrary, this experience is to be relished and enjoyed - - in
perspective. Just be honest with yourself about the qualities and
characteristics you prefer in a romantic partner vs. the ones that
are non-negotiable. Then, make a conscious decision to not
compromise on the later before you invest your heart.
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Signed, A Very Satisfied Member, Kevin
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Phoenix
AZ
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